birds, ‘GISS,' and Will's war on golf

an interview with an urbane hedonist

In this issue, I interview my friend Will Freedberg (@neotropical_migrant) a self-described "urbane hedonist" and conservation biologist who wants to abolish golf courses, and isn't afraid to stalk local politicians on bird-watching apps. And, it got weird.

badenvironmentalist: How would you describe yourself?

4mrfish (Will): I’m a 30-year-old naturalist, birder, urbane hedonist, cynic, and unemployed conservation biologist recently disabled by long COVID.

badenvironmentalist: You’re also someone who wants to “BAN GOLF” ?? Explain, please.

4mrfish: I do think golf courses are a harmful land use. It benefits so few users per acre and is culturally tied to ideas of demonstrating wealth by taking up space. Golf courses aren’t green spaces in my mind, they are monocultures of nonnative grass interspersed with trees and woodland patches that are too fragmented to be useful. And they’re EVERYWHERE.

If we don’t address the housing crisis by developing golf course land, let’s at least let them function like forest or grassland parks for people who enjoy nature recreation.

I don’t think that the state should expropriate golf courses or that we should seize them, but I hope we can have a critical conversation about the impacts of this sport.

badenvironmentalist: You live in Cape Cod. There is so much more to The Cape than beaches and ten-dollars-a-scoop ice cream. Share your favorite nature spots or things to do out there.

4mrfish: Dude, I have a twelve-page document on this. The deep glacial kettle ponds are crystal-clear and full of vast shimmering schools of herring. The barrens of bonsai-like pitch pines are punctuated at night by the constant rhythmic whistling of Whip-poor-wills—but the coast is ecologically still where my heart is.

It’s hard to beat sea-birding from the tip of Race Point in Provincetown, which is the only place where some oceanic species are visible from shore in the eastern United States. But looking for North Atlantic right whales (down to just 350 individuals this decade) and whale watching, in general, is what I first point people to. 

If you don’t scream like a kid when a 60-foot-long mammal swims under your boat, you’re missing a piece emotionally.

badenvironmentalist: Will, that’s beautiful! 🥹 Now tell the people something funny or ridiculous that happened to you while outdoors.

4mrfish: There’s this great web database called eBird that birders use to log sightings and that scientists can use to get impressions of long-term trends. It is NOT A SOCIAL NETWORK. But one time while birding, I recognized someone I saw in the field—a local politician who had done some good environmental work. I tried to ask him for professional advice and he wasn’t pleased. 

badenvironmentalist: I can confirm this is something you would do. What are some quirks you’ve noticed about the birding community?

4mrfish: Birders on the whole are pretty middle-of-the-road, much more than snake people or model airplane people, or even scuba divers. On the other hand, birding does tend to attract some unusually low-key, contemplative elder folks, and some fairly competitive, detail-oriented young people. 

I don’t think there are any easy generalizations about quirks other than “We’re unfortunately pretty white, and the younger end is disproportionately queer and neurospicy.” 

OK, BUT ONE THING is that they say the word “jizz” to mean “overall appearance,” from the British military acronym GISS “General Impression of Size and Shape”—and I find this hilarious.

badenvironmentalist: I’m screaming. When you’re out doing nature stuff, what do you take with you?

4mrfish: I carry very little because I have fibromyalgia, so here’s what I keep in my car: Binoculars, camera, water bottle, change of socks, bougie snacks (ParmCrisps are the move right now). Seine net, one-gallon fish tank, plankton tow, and mushroom receptacle. 

badenvironmentalist: I need to Google at least two of those items, but sounds good. Were birds the first animal you got excited about?

4mrfish: Birds weren’t the first group of animals I got into, but the first bird that got me into birds was a Sora. I had a friend in seventh grade who started birding, and he kept trying to show me birds in this stupid little half-acre patch of cattails behind our school.

Most were ones I recognized, but one day, a charismatic, black-masked, bluish chicken with a vivid yellow bill poked its head out and screamed “Ree!” The novelty of the experience left me wanting more! 

Before it was birds, it was fish. And dog breeds. I was a hyper-fixated little weirdo in middle school.

badenvironmentalist: Spending so much time outside, have you ever faced any real danger?

4mrfish: The outdoors are just like the indoors in that you can live exactly as dangerously as you want to. I’ve never been in a position where I was surprised by danger, but I have had some moments of self-inflicted risk.

Climbing a slippery metal canopy tower ladder in an Amazonian thunderstorm with some too-cocky Ecuadorean biologists. Lying down on the ground when I saw my first yearling cow moose to see if it would approach me out of curiosity before realizing I did not have a plan or know how to read body language if it did (and oh, it sure did).

But snakes, sharks, and most other nominally dangerous animals are never going to bother you unless you bother them. I’ve watched many a placid viper digest a paralyzed rodent and I’ve snorkeled with bull sharks and there’s rarely any risk with either. 

badenvironmentalist: As a person who cares about the environment and people, how are you feeling about the upcoming U.S. presidential election?

4mrfish: F***. F***, f***, f***. Fire and brimstone. Wailing and gnashing of teeth.

badenvironmentalist: You forgot to mention pure, unadulterated dread. 

4mrfish: Yes, that too.

badenvironmentalist: How can people stay in touch with you?

4mrfish: Follow me on Instagram at @neotropical_migrant. Write to me with your bird questions, trip ideas, or gig opportunities at Williamfreedberg[at]gmail.com.

Will demonstrating proper Turtle Appreciation Technique