This is Bad Environmentalist

a manifesto

Dec 11, 2023

Weeks ago, I stood on the sandy shores of a beach in southern Belize, watching a park ranger survey a newly-hatched nest of Hawksbill turtle eggs. He checked to see how many turtles hatched from their golfball-sized eggs, and how many perished.

It was a good day for the turtles. Out of 120 hatched eggs found by the ranger, 110 survived.

For the lucky turtles that made it out alive, another gauntlet awaited them: predators, warming sand temperatures, and heaps of plastic waste washed ashore. The global population of Hawksbills declined by 80% in the last century; coastal development and warming oceans pushed this species to near extinction.

I was in Belize on assignment covering marine conservation issues in the region. Nearly everyone I interviewed—fishers, developers, tour guides, and scientists—said climate change reshaped their livelihoods in profound ways. And, they’ve been saying this for years.

A Belizean fisherwoman told me that the fisheries she depends on are dwindling. A tour operator recounted the impact of snorkeling tourists on ailing coral reefs. One coastal town is slowly eroding away from rising sea levels. All the while, a steady flow of cruise ship passengers brings in much needed revenue.

I looked for—but did not find—the humor anywhere.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m no Sensitive Steven. Like Batman, I was born from the darkness, molded by it. I lived through multiple wars, recessions, and a global pandemic. I was alive during the worst decade of American fashion (the early 2000s) and attended many community theater shows across my lifetime. Sober.

I know our planet is in crisis. Now I’ve confronted planetary destruction in a country with few climate crimes to answer for, and all I can say is: Call my internet therapist, because I am not okay.

There are also signs that things are changing for the better in Belize. Coral reef restoration projects, efforts to plant mangrove trees, and new environmental protections. The experience reminds me why I began this project in the first place: to challenge myself (and you all) to find hope (and perhaps a laugh) amidst the doom and gloom.

For my new subscribers, allow me to introduce myself and this project.

I’m Paige Curtis, a sarcastic southerner in exile, writing from the liberal ice shelf known as Boston, Massachusetts. When I’m not publishing this newsletter, I’m writing for various media outlets or ~~rotting on my couch~~ calling my representatives about important legislation.

This is Bad Environmentalist: humorous, monthly commentary on climate and the environment. This is not another “how to live green" guide. It's an honest account of trying (and sometimes failing) to live green myself. One year into this experiment, I’ve written about:

In the coming year, you can expect to see more satire, essays about nature and culture, as well as advice column-style pieces.

Now, tell me who you are. Comment on this post or reply to this email with questions about climate and the environment, or topics you want me to write about.

See you in 2024.